The Weirdest 9 and a Half Minutes of My Life

WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE AND ALL-AROUND WEIRDNESS, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED


So a friend of mine just dropped this as a link on my facebook page. Its the video for Lady Gaga and Beyonce's song "Telephone", a decent song at least, but its taken a very awkward turn. So I clicked the link, and began to watch the 9 and a half minutes that ensued. I have to say I feel like a completely different person now that I've seen what I've seen, and the biggest feeling I have right now is that of having no freaking idea what just happened. I knew Lady Gaga was peculiar, but this takes the cake. I'm seriously baffled. I don't know if I should call what I just saw a brilliant piece of art or one of the most convolutedly stupid things I've ever seen. I'm leaning towards the latter though.
Pardon me if my thoughts are bouncing around a little bit in this post, my mind is jumbled from what I just saw. I think I may just ramble on for a while. Maybe its just context, but I have no idea what's going on in the video or how it pertains to the song. How does now wanting people to call you because you're in the club have anything to do with poisoning Tyrese Gibson, among others, and then driving off in a truck that's name I don't even want to mention? What the hell is going on here? Seriously... why is Beyonce signing off on this kind of thing, and what's with the little pseudo-lesbian thing she's got going on in this (I was at least feeling that vibe)? There were very few parts of this video that I enjoyed truly. The only that come to mind were the early bit where Gaga slights the people who said she may have "male parts". I found it funny. That and when Beyonce actually says the f word, because its so out of place and unexpected that it becomes amusing.
Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe there is some metaphor, or reference that I'm just not getting. Maybe something in all of this is "all the rage" and I'm just not hip to it. If someone knows something I don't here, please, please inform me, so I can know better and move on (it really means that much to me, ha). Seriously though, maybe there is some artistic or intellectual basis that I just don't know about to all of this.
The only thing that really comes to mind in all of this though, is that Gaga is trying to become a Michael Jackson, or Madonna, or Prince. I'd advise her to stop trying so hard, she's coming off as a wannabe. I mean, think about it. She's making basically, a 9.5 minute small movie out of like a 3 minute song. Furthermore, its one of the most mentally deranged short movies I've ever seen. She's trying to be shocking and artsy and at the very least, I'm seeing through it. Its nothing truly original. She's recycling an old idea; wear really strange things and act "dangerous" while singing very pop friendly songs. Its all been done before, and with only a couple small exceptions, I'm not very amused with her effort. I'm more frightened and perplexed if anything. And seriously Beyonce... what happened? Does Sean (Jay-Z) approve? I thought you were at least normal.
I think I might have nightmares tonight.

- Hype